TALLAHASSEE, FL—According to Tallahassee resident Bud Courson, local bastards Dewey Bostock and Dewayne Buckner picked the wrong guy to mess with this time. "They picked the wrong guy to mess with when they started messing with me," Courson said of the messing, which local officials believe to be the biggest mistake of the bastards' lives. Courson's future plans for the bastards include doing a serious number on their asses and whaling on them.