0BREAUX BRIDGE, LA—Gil Peterson has grown tired of his current collection of sexually explicit videotapes, DVDs, and magazines, the 44-year-old delivery-truck driver said Monday. "I tried to rewatch Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts again, but it was so boring," Peterson said. "I mean, how many times can you watch the same set of twins double-team the black guy on the back of a motorcycle?" Peterson said he will have one more look at the tape, but can't promise he'll achieve orgasm.
More News in Brief
Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness
LONDON—Just two months away from Kate Middleton’s speculated July due date, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today the pregnant Duchess of ...
Local Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp
DES MOINES, IA—With complaints about everything from “raggedy prayer mats” to “the grimiest ablution fountain ever,” local Muslims have slammed the al-Wali Mosque on ...
Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System
WEST HAVEN, CT—Following Microsoft’s official unveiling of their latest video game console Tuesday, 41-year-old father of two Richard Shearer excitedly told his son ...
