CHICAGO—Though there were more than a dozen just causes—including tardiness, gross incompetence, and poor hygiene—to terminate Louis Palmer from his position as an accountant at Brillstein & Altman CPA, PC, the 29-year-old told reporters Monday that he believes he was fired due to economic conditions beyond anyone's control. "Nobody's safe from this recession, man," said Palmer, who might have noticed that his employer actually posted a 12 percent growth in 2008 had he not so frequently been asleep at his desk. "I'm going to miss the two-hour lunch breaks and all the free office supplies, but what are you going to do? The economy's a total wreck." Palmer returned home that evening to discover that his wife had left him, which he attributed to the war in Iraq.