Arming Our Pilots
0The Airline Pilots Association recently proposed that pilots be allowed to carry handguns to defend their cockpits. What do you think?
“Pilots need to concentrate on flying the aircraft. Arm the Sky Chefs instead.”
Denise Bassett –
Guidance Counselor“As a mediocre stand-up comic, I'm all for it... 'And what's with these pilots packin' heat? Boy, you damn well better return your tray table to the upright and locked position, Chester!'”
Irfan Clarence –
Comedian“We should give the pilots unloaded guns, and then ask the media not to report that they're unloaded. Also, don't print this.”
Richard Barnes –
Systems Analyst“I don't like this plan quite as much as the one with the super-robots, but I suppose it'll have to do.”
Judy Weiss –
Florist“Pilots should get sawed-off shotguns. There's no reason they shouldn't be as well-armed as our pizza-delivery drivers.”
Pete Hecker –
Shipping Clerk“Armed pilots? I see. Tell me: Just how many days should I allot for a New York-to-L.A. trip on Amtrak?”
Todd Pollack –
Attorney
