U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft has issued several vague warnings of "credible threats" of terrorism, urging Americans to stay on alert. What do you think?

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  I applaud Ashcroft for his warnings. How else would I know when to be on alert for terrorist activity? Look—look how on-alert I am right now.

  Virginia Innes
  Teacher

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  I thought Ashcroft's most recent warning of possible terrorist attacks was calm and controlled enough, if you ignored the dark, spreading stain on the front of his trousers.

  Brent Cleveland
  Doctor

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  So Ashcroft didn't specifically mention anything about the Golden Gate Bridge, five pounds of weapons-grade plutonium, or next Thursday afternoon? Cool.

  Todd Booth
  Roofer

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  Does Ashcroft know something we don't? What is it? Never mind, I don't want to know. Wait, yes, I do—tell me! Tell me now! No, don't! No! Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb...

  Iris MacNaughton
  Graphic Designer

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  Gee, the things Ashcroft says seem reasonable enough when they scroll across the bottom of the screen during Friends.

  Henry Davidson
  Cashier

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  The whole damn country's been paranoid about terrorism ever since the whole damn country was devastated by terrorism.

  Christopher Adams
  Systems Analyst