No matter what your level of education, the first day of school arrives with anxiety about the things you forgot to bring. Here's a comprehensive checklist of items you'll need for the academic year.

Grade School:

• Oversized novelty pencil from theme park other kids too poor to visit
• Cheaper version of the must-have shoe that turns out to be worse decision than having no shoes at all
• Protractor and ruler, because you'd be a sap to go trusting the measurements in the textbook
• Knee-length britches, open-necked blouse, and a pocket watch

Middle School:

• Breasts
• A note from a doctor in case they're serious about the "showering after gym" business
• Axe body spray, because you want to get some over-the-bra groping action, don't you?

High School:

• An outfit that clearly identifies you as a brain, athlete, basket case, princess, or criminal
• A pack of Camel Filters, a well-worn copy of No Exit, and lunch money
• Graphing calculator to provide something to look quickly down at when Kori Prescott catches you staring

College:

• Dog-eared copy of The Bell Jar solidifying you as a mysterious intellectual to steer clear of at all costs.
• Self-selected nickname passed off as nickname from old school
• A bedspread bought from Target that is too colorful and clashes with most everything else
• $34,000 of your parents' money