0OWOSSO, MI–The potatoes in a 10-pound bag of Michigan Pride Russets were discovered in the throes of death Monday, sprouting roots from their eyes in a desperate, last-ditch attempt to prolong their lives with nutrient-rich soil. "I opened the bag to grab a few potatoes for dinner," said Owosso resident Bobbi Silas, "when I saw these potatoes sprouting arms, frantically reaching for any kind of nutrition available." Silas called the experience "creepy."
More News in Brief
3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over
WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in ...
Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...
Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing
SUGAR LAND, TX—Shortly after reports surfaced today that the Boy Scouts of America had voted to lift its ban on gay youths, local homosexual ...
