ROANOKE, VA—A day after the bank's record-breaking $42 billion merger with First Federal of Virginia, spokespersons for Midlantic Trust held a press conference Monday to assure Midlantic customers that they can still expect the same atrocious service they have always received in the past. "Just because we've merged with First Federal doesn't mean we've changed," Midlantic president Harlan Shore said. "In the future, you can expect the same long lines, stand-offish tellers, and exorbitantly high loan rates you've come to count on here at Midlantic."
More News in Brief
‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Missions To Focus Largely On Tutoring, Community Outreach
NEW YORK—Confirming months of speculation, developers at Rockstar Games revealed today that the missions in the upcoming Grand Theft Auto V video game will ...
Justin Bieber Recovering In Intensive Care Unit After Being Badly Booed
LAS VEGAS—Doctors at Valley Hospital Medical Center are reporting that pop sensation Justin Bieber is in critical but stable condition today after being admitted ...
Teacher Grading Papers Next To You On Plane Not Pulling Any Punches
ABOVE CONCORDIA, KS—Her pen mercilessly slashing its way through a stack of handwritten pages, the middle school English teacher grading papers next to you ...



0

