WISCONSIN DELLS, WI—In an annual ritual as regular as the arrival of summer itself, the nation's waterslide tunnels were purged Monday of all the bats inhabiting them. "Go on, scram," the nation's broom-wielding water-park employees said to the bats, which took up residence in the dim fiberglass tubes shortly after Labor Day last year. "Go make your nest somewhere else! It's summertime. There are all kinds of kids who are gonna want to cool down, splash around, and enjoy themselves. So beat it!" Following the successful evacuation of the bats, the water parks' junior employees were sent into the bathrooms to clear out all the daddy longlegs and porcupines that had wintered there.
More News in Brief
Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning Sickness
LONDON—Just two months away from Kate Middleton’s speculated July due date, sources close to the Royal Family confirmed today the pregnant Duchess of ...
Local Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp
DES MOINES, IA—With complaints about everything from “raggedy prayer mats” to “the grimiest ablution fountain ever,” local Muslims have slammed the al-Wali Mosque on ...
Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System
WEST HAVEN, CT—Following Microsoft’s official unveiling of their latest video game console Tuesday, 41-year-old father of two Richard Shearer excitedly told his son ...



17

