Beijing's Looming Olympic Crisis
With scant months before the XXIX Olympiad is scheduled to open, serious questions still remain about Beijing's readiness to safely and efficiently host the Games. Onion Sports outlines the most crucial problems:
City's traffic crisis may delay some athletes' arrivals until 2011
Oops, no water for anyone
Due to high levels of air pollution, there is a possibility the Olympic torch may set atmosphere on fire
Bars in pole-vaulting competition will be replaced with 10-foot-high piles of people
Questions have been raised by new "Working In Assembly Line For 14 Hours A Day" competition
Country apparently only had one wall in it; was built years ago
Chinese just assumed that all swimming events would be held in the ocean
Official emblem of the games melted or something
Cutbacks will force water polo, basketball, shot put to share same arena at same time
Giant mutant bird using Beijing National Stadium as nest
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