With scant months before the XXIX Olympiad is scheduled to open, serious questions still remain about Beijing's readiness to safely and efficiently host the Games. Onion Sports outlines the most crucial problems:

City's traffic crisis may delay some athletes' arrivals until 2011

Oops, no water for anyone

Due to high levels of air pollution, there is a possibility the Olympic torch may set atmosphere on fire

Bars in pole-vaulting competition will be replaced with 10-foot-high piles of people

Questions have been raised by new "Working In Assembly Line For 14 Hours A Day" competition

Country apparently only had one wall in it; was built years ago

Chinese just assumed that all swimming events would be held in the ocean

Official emblem of the games melted or something

Cutbacks will force water polo, basketball, shot put to share same arena at same time

Giant mutant bird using Beijing National Stadium as nest