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Sports News in Brief

Boxer Who Killed Other Guy In Ring Somehow Not World Champion Now

September 13, 2011 | ISSUE 47•51 ISSUE 47•37

LAS VEGAS—Despite punching his opponent so hard and so often Monday that he killed him in the ring, boxer James Griffin is somehow not the sport’s current world champion. “It would seem that killing a person while boxing would mean the pugilist has reached the absolute top of his profession, but according to federation rules, that isn’t the case,” said boxing analyst Gary Brito, adding that if the goal of boxing is to punch someone so that he can’t get up during a 10-count, punching someone to a point where he is physically incapable of ever getting up again should warrant some sort of championship belt. “There is something truly wrong with the sport when killing a man doesn’t at least earn the victor some extra prize money.” Griffin admitted to reporters he was disappointed the match did not make him world champion but said murdering a stranger with his hands in front of the man’s family and thousands of cheering people was its own reward.

The Onion

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