WATERTOWN, MA—Citing exhaustive use of the word “breaking” to preface media coverage of today’s ongoing manhunt for one of the alleged Boston Marathon bombers, The Onion is now questioning whether the word “breaking” has lost all its meaning. According to sources, the word ‘breaking’ has been used over 4,000 times across a variety of media platforms in the past 24 hours and has been repeatedly used to categorize news items related to the Boston Marathon bomber suspect that are not, in fact, substantively different from earlier reports, and thus not truly “breaking” by any traditional definition of that term. Acknowledging that 700 separate “breaking” news bulletins have been published since the beginning of this breaking news article, The Onion continues to wonder whether this word can ever be taken seriously again.
More News in Brief
Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds
WASHINGTON—A new report published Monday by the National Transportation Safety Board advises motorists that sending text messages while driving “is totally fine” and “not ...
3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over
WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in ...
Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...



101
