WATERTOWN, MA—Citing the fact that we have done five breaking news updates in the last 30 minutes and have added no new information to the story, numerous sources are now confirming that we might be doing a bad job covering the manhunt for Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokar A. Tsarnaev. Eyewitnesses are telling reporters there’s a fairly good chance that the pointless, rushed updates could indicate a piss-poor level of incompetent journalism. At press time, breaking reports are now confirming that, yes, we are heavily leaning toward the conclusion that we are doing a bad job.
More News in Brief
Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds
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3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over
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Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...



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