Celebrating 13 years since the release of "Twister"
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking
    Sports Newswire • sports • ISSUE 47•39 • Sep 25, 2011
    • Facebook0
    • Twitter0
    • Google Plus0

    Brewers Inform Nyjer Morgan Playoff Roster Only Has Room For 2 Alter Egos

    More Sports Newswire

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Pete Carroll Thankful NFL Didn't Catch Rest Of Seahawks Using PEDs

    Frank Vogel Seen Googling 'NBA Pacers Good?'

    Frank Vogel Seen Googling 'NBA Pacers Good?'

    Recent News

    Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp ClaimGay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second ThingRestaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular MenuMan Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up AntibioticsKate Middleton Suffering From Morning SicknessObama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy OrgyWoman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This August

    • Film: Newswire: Jon Stewart decides to spend his summer vacation with Gael Garcia Bernal

    • Film: Great Job, Internet!: Behold, a life-sized replica of a Star Wars X-Wing fighter built entirely out of Lego pieces

    • Music: Newswire: Lord Of The Rings star Christopher Lee releasing his second metal LP just in time for his 91st birthday

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • BN301Xbox-One-Voice-Control_delivery_v3

    • Dr. Good's Ultimate Shot Giveaway! - Dr. Good - Ep. 3

    • Web Series Reaches 100 Views

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved