During its first five days on the shelves, Activision's latest installment in the first-person-shooter video game franchise Call Of Duty brought in $550 million worldwide. What are the reasons for its popularity?

• Somehow knows names and places of battles that are set to take place in the next few weeks
• Multiplayer mode enables you to connect with friends, nonstop action prevents them from drawing you into meaningful conversation
• 5,000 or more hours of game play qualifies player for VA health care
• Not much good on TV
• When you shoot barrels, they explode
• The controller rumbles when your character is hit with a bullet, which is exactly what the human body does
• Dutiful young Americans realizing just what they are being called to do
• Offers homosexuals only opportunity to serve openly in the military