ST. CLOUD, MN—A catchphrase from The Love Guru, comedian Mike Myers' latest film, which follows the exploits of a self-help mentor tasked with reuniting a professional hockey player with his wife, was overheard at a local bar, stunned witnesses reported Monday. "I didn't see who was saying it, but I think it was that part from the trailer where Justin Timberlake comes into the scene wearing a Speedo and Mike Myers says, 'It looks like he's smuggling a schnauzer,'" said a visibly distraught Richard Finestra, 28. "Who the hell is going around quoting from that movie? Oh God—and I recognized the line. What does that say about me?" The nation's film experts have urged Americans to remain calm, saying that the statistical likelihood of the movie ever being casually referenced again is roughly 1 in 300,000,000.
More News in Brief
Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria
WASHINGTON—According to a national poll conducted by the Pew Research Center Monday, the vast majority of Americans are currently more concerned about the demise ...
New Documentary To Finally Shed Light On Nation’s Fast Food Chains
WASHINGTON—Americans across the country expressed their excitement Wednesday over the upcoming release of Value Meal, a feature-length documentary that will, at long last, shed ...
After One Realizes Methadone Clinic Nearby, Behavior Around City Block Makes Sense
NEW YORK—Though he was once confused by the number of frail, seemingly mentally unstable people concentrated around the Houston and Broadway area of Manhattan ...



0
