We'll worry about the weather, you just concentrate on you
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking
    Newswire • Science & Technology • ISSUE 48•40 • Oct 7, 2012
    • Facebook98
    • Twitter3
    • Google Plus2

    CDC Mix-Up Results In U.S. Children Receiving 1.2 Million Tequila Shots

    More Newswire

    Woman Takes Up Running Clothes

    Woman Takes Up Running Clothes

    One Of Letters In Company Logo Extends Out, Becomes Arrow

    One Of Letters In Company Logo Extends Out, Becomes Arrow

    Free Printer Only Reason For Coworkers To Be In Same Physical Space

    Free Printer Only Reason For Coworkers To Be In Same Physical Space

    Recent News

    Kate Middleton Suffering From Morning SicknessObama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy OrgyWoman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This AugustLocal Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On YelpFather Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System‘Our Thoughts Go Out To Oklahoma,’ Says Congressman Mentally Calculating When He Can Bring Up Benghazi Again24-Year-Old Receives Sage Counsel From Venerable 27-Year-Old

    • Film: Great Job, Internet!: Read This: 20 essential music documentaries are streaming online now, well worth watching

    • Film: Great Job, Internet!: Read This: A physicist checked the math of Fast Five's climactic bank vault car chase, arrived at the only logical buzzkill conclusion

    • Music: Newswire: Kanye West wants Will Smith to come out of rap retirement, be one of the apostles of Yeezus

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket To Employment? - Dr. Good - Ep. 2

    • The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

    • Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Cafe Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved