American Voices

Checks For Gun Buyers

December 16, 1998 | ISSUE 34•20

Earlier this month, a new system of instant FBI background checks on gun buyers went into effect. The system, which takes the place of a five-day waiting period, is being challenged in court by the NRA as an invasion of privacy. What do you think?

  • I think the new instant checks are great. Last March, I had to wait almost an entire week before I could open fire on that busload of kids.

    Dave Roof
    Groundskeeper

  • I'm in favor of a waiting period. Waiting just makes it all the more special when you finally give the bitch what she's got coming.

    Keith Krausse
    Salesman

  • As long as they don't start requiring background checks for meat-cleaver purchases, I should be fine.

    Benjamin Chavarria
    Custodian

  • God, guts and guns are what made America great. Oh, God—I just shot myself in the gut with my gun!

    Jordan Stock
    Commercial Pilot

  • They should make gun buyers sign a waiver that says, 'I promise only to use this gun on bunnies.'

    Anne Hershberger
    Systems Analyst

  • I find that shooting people is an excellent alternative to letting them run a background check on me.

    Ellen Gosger
    Cab Driver

Recent American Voices
The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.