0An article in last week's edition of The Onion entitled "What To Do With All Those Fresh Cherries" neglected to mention putting one over each eye and making your friends call you Little Miss Mary Maraschino for a week. The Onion apologizes for the omission.
More Corrections
We're So Sorry
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
Homegrown Terrorism
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
You Were Right
After defending Cindy for years, The Onion finally realized she’s no good. You were right.
