Last week saw the dramatic rescue of 33 Chileans who spent a harrowing 69 days trapped in the Copiapó copper and gold mine. Here's how they spent their time underground:

• Day 5: Someone finally gets brave enough to ask the guy who's been crying since Day 2 his name again
• Day 8: All got really scared when a couple of the guys thought they saw a bat
• Day 14: Still-surviving canary starts to piss everyone off
• Day 18: Killed that asshole Diego who wouldn't shut up and told the surface crew that they had miscounted and there were, in fact, only 33 miners down there
• Day 32: Contest to see who could eat the most gold ended in a 33-way tie
• Day 40: Found tunnel to surface; decided not to tell the rescuers
• Day 68: Tearful goodbyes to the Mole Men
• Day 69: Shrugging off declarations of love and faith uttered inside the mine