4BEIJING—Hijinx Of The Masses, a Chinese sitcom about 16 twentysomethings who live above a tea shop, was canceled Monday after the series premiere was only able to draw a disappointing 180 million viewers. "We were aware that the show would be competing with dragon-boat races on ESPN Macau, but Hijinx Of The Masses still performed much worse than expected," China Central Television network executive Wei Xiang said. "Anything less than a quarter of a billion viewers is simply unacceptable." In order to fill the time slot left by the canceled program, the actors, producers, writers, camera operators, and everyone else associated with the show will be executed live on air next Thursday at 9 p.m.
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...
