Newswire • microfiche • May 14, 2007

Christ Lands Chinook Helicopter On Floor Of Houston Megachurch In Front Of 8,000 Screaming Fans

Kanye West Grips Armrests And Frantically Whispers Own Lyrics During Heavy Turbulence

Guy Who Thinks He Outran Gorilla Decides To Casually Lean Elbow Against Big Furry Rock