0COLUMBUS, OH—According to a local television announcer, at 11:30 p.m. this Sunday on WPZH channel 27, Chuck Norris will fight for everyone who can't fight back. "Chuck Norris is a renegade cop on a deadly one-way mission for revenge," the announcer said. "His assignment? Action." The announcer added that Norris, whose designated mission code name is Lone Wolf McQuade, will not come back until he gets what's his. Norris plans to repeat the highly dangerous, covert mission again at 2 a.m. Monday on the same channel.
More News in Brief
Everyone Forgets To Bring Swimsuits To Coworker’s Party
'What Are The Odds?' Pasty, Flabby Colleagues Say
ARLINGTON, TX—While gathered for a party at a coworker’s backyard pool Saturday, out-of-shape colleagues at Shuster, Layne & Associates were struck by the coincidence ...
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker
BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...
Call From Daycare Can't Be Good
HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...
