Cleveland Enters Second Month Of Complete Silence So As Not To Jinx Indians
CLEVELAND—The entire population of Cleveland continued its two-month-long silent streak Saturday, opting to remain completely still so as not to ruin hope for the Indians, who are off to their best start in five years. “Ssshh,” superstitious Indians fan Lindsay Berowski told reporters while placing her index finger over her lips and shaking her head briskly. When asked for further comments about the team’s impressive record, Berowski located a pen and paper and wrote, “Be quiet and please leave.” According to sources, many are blaming Wednesday’s 14-2 loss to the Red Sox on Cleveland resident Paul Eutsey, who recently rose from the chair he had been sitting in for the past month to clean off the dried urine and fecal matter that had caked itself all over his body.
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