-
  • Carlos Beltran First Player To Homer From Three Sides Of The Plate
  • Reggie Bush Listed As Product For Sale On Nike's Web Site
  • Tim Tebow Impressing Broncos With Absence
  • Success Of I'll Have Another Making Nation's Other 3-Year-Olds Feel Inadequate
  • Pau Gasol Blamed For Making Kobe Bryant Sound Like Asshole
  • Bryce Harper Asks Manager Where Bats Come From

Sports News in Brief

Confused David Stern Thought Gilbert Arenas Was Where Toronto Raptors Played

December 13, 2007 | ISSUE 43•50

NEW YORK—Upon hearing reports that star guard Gilbert Arenas was recovering well from two surgeries on his left knee, NBA commissioner David Stern was silent for several moments before revealing that he had previously believed 'Gilbert Arenas' was the name of the stadium where the Toronto Raptors played their home games. "So…Gilbert Arenas, that's where the Blue Jays play, and the Argonauts, and sometimes they have the circus in town when the season is right for it, right?" said Stern, referring to the Air Canada Centre. "Isn't their owner's name Gilbert? I thought it was pronounced with a silent T or something, because it's all French up there. I never heard the name out loud before now, see, I've always just read it. 'Gilbert Arenas.' Huh." Upon admitting his mistake, Stern extended his best wishes to Arenas and expressed the hope that he would return to the Raptors' lineup soon.

The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.