0WASHINGTON, DC—In a near-unanimous vote Monday, 434 members of the House and all 100 senators voiced their approval of $250 billion. "My fellow members of Congress, $250 billion is an incredibly vast sum of money," U.S. Rep. Dennis Rehberg (R-MT) said. "That much money is totally awesome." House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), the lone dissenter, disagreed with Rehberg's assessment, saying that, unless the money was stacked on a table in one-dollar bills, it was "pretty cool," but not "awesome."
More News in Brief
New Obesity Drug Delicious
CHICAGO—Following the FDA’s approval of the prescription obesity medication Pryvexa earlier this week, users of the recently released weight management pill have confirmed ...
Nation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up Today
WASHINGTON—According to reports, the American people are currently rubbing their hands in anticipation for whatever vile, disgusting garbage the internet will eventually puke up ...
Scientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of Twinkles
WASHINGTON—In a breakthrough study that experts say completely reshapes our understanding of the cosmos, a team of astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered that ...
