The House Financial Services Committee has approved a "Credit Cardholders' Bill of Rights" designed to control the detrimental habits of credit card companies. Here are some of the reforms suggested:

Companies must offer more badass card designs, such as a Sherman tank or the Motörhead insignia

When you've gone over your limit, someone from the credit card company will come hang out at your place to prevent you from going out

Agents can no longer use the phrase "it's like free money" when describing their product.

Card issuers not allowed to even imply that the "platinum" designation holds any sort of prestige

Lenders should make it clearer from the outset that they actually want their money repaid

All things will be made less appealing to buy

Credit cards must feature a picture of your parents looking disapproving on them

Zero percent interest on stuff bought while obviously drunk