Dear The Onion,
I have to tell my neighbors that I'm a convicted sex offender. Would you mind printing this and saving me some trouble?
07.30.08
Recent News »
-
Kennedy Family Releases List Of Tragic Ways Remaining Members Could Die
-
Scientists Find Thousands Of Previously Undiscovered Species Cowering In Amazon Rainforest
-
Alabama School System's Lone Textbook Falling Apart
-
Fleet Of Ambulances On Hand For 41-Year-Olds' Touch Football Game
-
Harrison Ford Chuckles To Self Upon Realizing He Hasn't Been In Movie People Liked In 18 Years
-
Secretary Of Transportation Flips Out On Pothole In Baltimore
-
Tens Of Thousands Dead In Ongoing Africa
-
General Mills Gives Honey Nut Cheerios Bee Intense Backstory Of Childhood Foster Home Abuse In Bizarre Rebranding Effort
