The media is going to great lengths to cover the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton this Friday, with CNN alone dedicating 125 reporters to the event. Here are some of the extremes media outlets are undertaking:

  • National Geographic: Placing two teams of cameramen in blinds outside Westminster Abbey for three months, waiting to get that perfect shot of the nesting pair
  • New York Post: Shoe mirrors to see who Middleton is wearing, panty-wise
  • The Sun: Having an anonymous source plant an alien inside the reception, hiring a translator to find out what it experienced
  • 60 Minutes: Sending a blond-bewigged Morley Safer through security as Camilla Parker Bowles
  • BBC: Using its TARDIS to materialize inside the security perimeter
  • Dateline NBC: Erecting a decoy abbey right next to Westminster and ambush-interviewing whichever guests mistakenly walk in
  • Agence-France Presse: Sending a correspondent to Calais with a telescope to confirm that the boorish English and their cloud-condemned island are still there
  • Cat Fancy: Four-part series on the growing irrelevance of the British royalty and its long-term effect on the working class