Sucks at first, but totally worth it

- Follow @TheOnion

Video
Politics
Sports
Business
Science/Tech
Entertainment
Breaking
More

Video
Politics
Sports
Business
Science/Tech
Entertainment
Breaking

CUMBERLAND, RI—The new guy in the cubicle next to Paul Alexander, 41, smells like a fresh haircut.

National News Highlights • Local • ISSUE 49•10 • Mar 5, 2013

2
0
0

PreviousTULSA, OK—Maybe she's missing something, but ...NextPLANO, TX—While setting up for his monthly ...

Recent News

Area Man Beginning To Think He Has Memorial Day Off Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds 3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second Thing Restaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular Menu Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics

Recent Videos

Desperate Earth Begins Accelerating Rotation In Effort To Hurl Humankind Off Surface

Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands Obama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

Music: MusicalWork Review: Laura Marling: Once I Was An Eagle
Music: MusicalWork Review: The-Dream: IV Play
Music: MusicalWork Review: Alice In Chains: The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here

How to Traumatize Your Children Book
Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses
Cheat to Win Bracelet

Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out
Best of Onion Sports: OSN Tackles Underreported Sports
Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

Follow The Onion

Receive The Newsletter

DailyWeekly

Onion News Empire
The Onion Live!
Personals
FAQ
Contact Us
Jobs
Media Kit
Privacy Policy
Franchising
RSS & Apps

The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved