WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of the Interior held a press conference Wednesday to announce the release of a new stick. “The stick is a maple stick, is 14 inches long, and is sure to please casual nature lovers and serious stick enthusiasts alike,” Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said of the stick, which has a little bark peeling off one end and a sort of nub coming off it at a 45-degree angle. “We think it will make a perfect complement to our other 38 billion sticks currently in circulation.” Salazar added that his personal favorite feature of the new stick, which will be deposited onto a forest floor in New Hampshire in March, is that if you break it in half, it becomes two sticks.
More News With Video
Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times
Also Healthy, Fulfilled, Successful, and Loved
WASHINGTON—In a new report released Wednesday by the Pew Research center, Americans indicated that when it comes to what they expect from their country ...
Economists: People Who Paint Selves Silver And Pretend To Be Statues Make Average Of $10 Million Per Year
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Economists at Harvard University released a new study this week indicating that Americans who paint themselves silver and pretend to be statues in ...
FBI Offering $1 Million Reward For Any Information On Cheetahs
WASHINGTON—The FBI is asking any Americans with information about the eating habits, top speed, fighting abilities, or other general-interest knowledge of cheetahs to contact ...



10

