HOUSTON—Local resident Ethan Kendler's description of his sexual fantasies to girlfriend Rebecca LaBatt veered awkwardly from the kinky to the banal Sunday, as a raunchy but emotionally honest expression of carnal desire degenerated into inoffensive, marginally erotic entreaties.
"We meet up with your friends Kelly and Tiffany at a bar, or just Kelly, actually, and we get kind of drunk," said Kendler, 25, a bike shop technician, as he snuggled with LaBatt in his one-bedroom apartment. "While we're playing pool, she bends over to line up her shot and we notice she's not wearing any panties."
"That's when we decide that she's had too much to drink and escort her home," added Kendler, who had quickly noted LaBatt's silent reaction. "Because it's not safe for her to walk home alone at night."
Kendler, who has been dating LaBatt, 26, since May, reportedly leaped at her invitation to share his sexual fantasies, eager to divulge the various scenarios of voyeurism and exhibitionism he had kept to himself for a decade. But his shyness soon returned last week after a description of spying on his girlfriend through her door while she fondled herself caused the corners of LaBatt's mouth to turn down slightly. Kendler muttered that he was "just kidding" and quickly abandoned the scenario.
"So on the way home from dropping off Kelly, ensuring that she safely gets inside her apartment, we pass through a dark alley and I tie you up," Kendler said. "With the gentle embrace of my arms. And I hold you tight as a soft mist covers us. And my hand moves toward your, your hand so I can pull, or guide you willingly, back to my place, and climb into my nice big warm bed."
Alarmed that LaBatt had not met his gaze for several seconds, Kendler chose not to relate his desire to dress her like a schoolgirl, apply nipple clamps, and play sadistic headmaster.
A desperate Kendler quickly cast his eyes around his apartment in search of something that could move the fantasy in a different, mutually satisfying direction.
"There's whipped cream in the refrigerator," said Kendler, encouraged by a fleeting gleam in LaBatt's eye. "I spray some on your…whatever you prefer to call your vagina. Then I get out my camera and make sure it's turned off."
Kendler also substituted the word "lovingly" for the words "roughly," "eagerly," and "thoroughly," and perhaps demonstrated too much sensitivity towards the fact that LaBatt has a twin sister.
Kendler showed signs of achieving a possible sex-fantasy breakthrough when he began talking about using sex toys in his and LaBatt's lovemaking, and then embarked on a spanking scenario. Fearing that LaBatt might suspect that he was talking about his ex-girlfriend, however, he cut his digression short and settled on describing a romantic candlelight dinner.
"I put my finger up your—" said Kendler, choking back the word "ass." "Lips. Up to your lips. Like, to hush you, because the moment is so awe-inspiring. Then I move my hand to the back of your head and, um, stroke your hair. And then we make gentle, respectful, beautiful love. Then we cuddle. And that's what my fantasy is."
The discussion culminated with the couple engaging in enthusiastic, but otherwise routine missionary-position sex, which LaBatt described in a Monday phone interview as "nice, but not that different from anything we've done before."
"I was really surprised by how tender his fantasy was," LaBatt said. "I was giving off all these body-language cues to get him to talk dirty—but I guess he's just naturally sweet and old-fashioned. I was really hoping he would talk about tying me up and fucking me in the ass. Is it just me, or are guys complete pussies?"