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Have some debate bullshit I got to do tonight.
'Diamond Joe' Biden Takes Over Onion Politics Twitter Feed During Vice Presidential Debate
Why doesn't the backstage bathroom have a plunger? It's not going to be Uncle Joe's fault if the toilet can't handle what he's giving.
Biden Puts On Lucky Debate Suit onion.com/RjGHeI
Leather jacket lookin good, but think these tight leather pants are giving me serious nut rash # debates
Lovin it here in Danville. Picked up some unreal bud earlier # debateprep
Filled water bottle I found backstage with vodka # debates
Is that guy's first name Paul or Ryan? # spaced
These spotlights are brutal. Too bad I left Gladys at home. That boa would’ve loved basking in the heat. # debates
I'm giggling because I'm fucking blazed # debates
Hey @ BarackObama , that’s how you make a fucking point # debates
Couple drops of Visine and nobody will ever know # debates
Paul Ryan's just totally wonking-off all over my face # debates
Just spraying his hot wonk everywhere # debates
Time for a quick story about that Wisconsin woman named Janna Ryan who never experienced an orgasm # debates
I've had a roll in the hay with Paul Ryan's mom. She's gorgeous, and she's healthy as an ox # debates
Apropos of nothing, ejaculating in a hot tub feels amazing. Anyway, back to the debate.
They call this guy a budget wonk? I've got more fiscal responsibility in my left nut.
The wonk is just splooging out of him # debates
Whoa, not feeling great. # debates
Biden Unleashes Torrent Of Vomit On Debate Stage onion.com/SV1SZT
Feeling better now # pukedaton
Took most of the debate, but check out what I just carved into the table with my jackknife ow.ly/i/112Sq
Martha’s been eye fucking me all night. Gonna be tough keeping my stick in neutral while I’m speaking # debates
Definitely gotta keep Planned Parenthood. Can’t tell you how many times they’ve bailed me out over the years # debates
A woman should have the right to say what part of her body she wants me to give the ol' tip of the tongue. # MyPersonalWomensHealthPlan
Wonder if Paul wants to go on cooze patrol # VeepSnakes # Bipartisanship
Think anyone will notice if I leak the lizard under this table? Shouldn’t have had so many Genny Lights # debates
Eloquent Biden Brings Entire Audience To Tears In Debate Stunner onion.com/SV5smL
Biden Shares 20-Minute Post-Debate Kiss With Janna Ryan onion.com/SV60cj
So what’s the deal, any shit happening off-campus after this thing? # debates
Debate after party @ lexingtonrhino . You can touch the strippers if you've got enough coin.
