Have some debate bullshit I got to do tonight.
'Diamond Joe' Biden Takes Over Onion Politics Twitter Feed During Vice Presidential Debate
Why doesn't the backstage bathroom have a plunger? It's not going to be Uncle Joe's fault if the toilet can't handle what he's giving.
Leather jacket lookin good, but think these tight leather pants are giving me serious nut rash # debates
These spotlights are brutal. Too bad I left Gladys at home. That boa would’ve loved basking in the heat. # debates
Time for a quick story about that Wisconsin woman named Janna Ryan who never experienced an orgasm # debates
I've had a roll in the hay with Paul Ryan's mom. She's gorgeous, and she's healthy as an ox # debates
Apropos of nothing, ejaculating in a hot tub feels amazing. Anyway, back to the debate.
They call this guy a budget wonk? I've got more fiscal responsibility in my left nut.
Took most of the debate, but check out what I just carved into the table with my jackknife ow.ly/i/112Sq
Martha’s been eye fucking me all night. Gonna be tough keeping my stick in neutral while I’m speaking # debates
Definitely gotta keep Planned Parenthood. Can’t tell you how many times they’ve bailed me out over the years # debates
A woman should have the right to say what part of her body she wants me to give the ol' tip of the tongue. # MyPersonalWomensHealthPlan
Think anyone will notice if I leak the lizard under this table? Shouldn’t have had so many Genny Lights # debates