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Sports News in Brief

Dunk Contest No Longer A Big Deal Now That 85 Percent Of Populace Can Dunk

February 15, 2011 | ISSUE 47•06

LOS ANGELES—The NBA's annual Slam Dunk Contest, which rose to prominence with the high-flying talents of players like Michael Jordan, Dominique Wilkins, and Spud Webb, has failed to garner much interest this year due to the fact that an overwhelming majority of the U.S. population has the ability to dunk, sources confirmed Monday. "Yeah, I'm not gonna watch that, because me and the guys I work with could pretty much have our own dunk contest if we wanted to," said 43-year-old postal employee Frank Palmer, who then did four 360-degree dunks and several Jordanesque kiss-the-rim slams on an NBA regulation-height basketball hoop. "My dad and I still dunk the ball around every now and then." League sources confirmed that within the next 75 years every NBA player and U.S. citizen will be able to play defense.

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