With the NBA season underway, scouts have made their first team rankings. Exhaustive capsule evaluations follow.

  1. Orlando Magic: With a 3-0 record, the Magic are on pace to go 450-0, presuming that this season lasts until 2015
  2. Boston Celtics: No team looks as dominant as the Celtics. Then again, we haven't watched any games since the Celtics' season opener, so we could be wrong
  3. San Antonio Spurs: Easily in the top five, probably even a championship favorite, though we almost forgot to put them on this list
  4. Golden State Warriors: Yes, they're 0-2, but we've got a good feeling about them
  5. Trail Blazers: Team headed in right direction after making a number of off-season pickups to help Greg Oden, including 10,000 yards of gauze, a defibrillator, and a kidney dialysis machine
  6. Atlanta Hawks: This team was built to go very deep into the regular season
  7. Utah Jazz: With Carlos Boozer's future with the team uncertain and just the future in general being uncertain, who knows if the Jazz will be better or worse than 9th? Who knows if there will even be a Utah Jazz next year? You know? Do you ever think about stuff like that?
  8. Toronto Raptors: Beat the Cavs in their home opener, but that's it—everything's downhill from there. Don't expect this team to live through the season