Last week, it was reported that eBay.com, the popular, minimally monitored Internet auction house, is being investigated by the federal government for "possible illegal transactions." What do you think?

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  You mean that Ty Cobb-autographed aluminum bat I bought might be a fake?

  Marvin Cowens
  Systems Analyst

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  No wonder my Splinters of the True Cross came individually wrapped and were mint-flavored.

  Oscar Brookens
  Roofer

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  In the future, I'm going to think twice before buying from eBay. Those fries were totally cold when UPS dropped them off.

  Elaine Tobik
  Bank Teller

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  The crimes of eBay are a disgrace to its Pig Latin heritage.

  Jenny Hebner
  Waitress

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  Fraud on the Internet? Sure, pal. And I suppose my cybersex partner Bossk1701 isn't really a willowy, 20-year-old redhead, either.

  Dave Cappuzzello
  Custodian

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  I could buy my goods from a more reputable source. But then I might have to interact with someone of human form.

  Richard Schatzeder
  Architect