0In last week's issue, The Onion incorrectly stated that education is the key to success. Being born into money is, actually. The Onion regrets the error.
More Corrections
The Birthday Girl
An article yesterday repeatedly referred to Hillary Clinton as “the birthday girl.” This was unprofessional and entirely inaccurate.
We're So Sorry
The Onion apologizes for its failure to meet the oh-so-high editorial standards of a genius such as yourself.
Homegrown Terrorism
The headline of Tuesday's article about homegrown terrorism was not as alarmist as it could have been.
