Celebrating 13 years since the release of "Twister"
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Energy

    Slideshow • environment • Science & Technology • ISSUE 46•17 • May 18, 2010
    • Facebook216
    • Twitter4
    • Google Plus0
    • Sunken Oil Tanker Will Be Habitat For Marine Life, Shell Executives Say With Straight Face

      HOUSTON, TX—A Shell press release read without a trace of irony claims the Global Explorer will host countless fish and marine vegetation.
      1 of 10
    • SOLOPEC Nations Warn Sun's Output May Fall Short Of Demand

      RIYADH, MUHAMMAD ARABIA—The governing board of the Solar Output Power Exporting Countries announced Monday that, in spite of attempts to raise production levels, increased global-power consumption may begin to outstrip the sun's output by early next year.
      2 of 10
    • Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

      EARTH—Gore's son Kal-Al is faster than a speeding Prius, stronger than the EPA's Superfund program, and able to leap mountains of red tape in a single bound.
      3 of 10
    • China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter

      China revels in a UN report that found it has the highest smog levels in the world, a sure sign of China’s progress and prosperity.
      4 of 10
    • U.S. Ice Cubes Melting At Alarming Rate

      WASHINGTON, DC—High summer temperatures and ever-increasing levels of U.S. beverage consumption are causing ice cubes across the nation to melt at
      5 of 10
    • Green-Conscious GE Develops Hybrid Lightbulb

      FAIRFIELD, CT—The bulb's four-cylinder engine could produce up to 80 percent less global-warming pollution than conventional gas-powered bulbs.
      6 of 10
    • Prohibitively High Rocket-Fuel Prices Bring Mideast Crisis To Standstill

      BEIRUT, LEBANON—Lines at the pump extended for miles as frustrated Hezbollah soldiers waited for hours to fill up their Katushyas and Qassam-2s.
      7 of 10
    • New Anger-Powered Cars May Revolutionize The Way We Drive

      DETROIT—Drawing motive power from the unbridled temper of drivers, road-rage-fueled cars may change the way Americans drive.
      8 of 10
    • Oil Executives March On D.C.

      The hundreds of executives, majority share-holders, and oil barons say they've been shut out too long.
      9 of 10
    • Massive Tag Body Spray Slick Spreading From Jersey Shore

      TOMS RIVER, NJ—Environmentalists fear that the noxious spill could offset Mid-Atlantic breeding patterns for years to come.
      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • Women

      • Environment

      • The Week In Review

      • The Week In Review

      • The Common Man

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    WORKPLACE

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    NEWS

    Recent News

    Edward Snowden’s Life Just Flat-Out Fun And ExcitingAsshole Awarded For Asshole Behavior By Business Community LeadersGrown Adult Walks Right Into Karate StudioWoman Apparently Wants To Smell EdibleFans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern CinemaBashar Al-Assad Introduces Syrian Bike-Sharing ProgramDick Van Dyke Finally Confesses To Zodiac Killings

    Recent Videos

    Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times 

    Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In AwhileEconomists: People Who Paint Selves Silver And Pretend To Be Statues Make Average Of $10 Million Per Year

    • NTSF: SD: SUV::, "Hawaii Die-0"

    • Film: AVQ&A: What upcoming 2013 entertainment are you most anticipating?

    • TV: Random Roles: Allison Jones on casting Arrested Development guests, freaks, geeks, a virgin, and hard-rockin' zombies

    • WTF Desktop NotePad

    • Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder Magnet

    • "I'm a Douche" Coffee Mug

    • Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times

    • A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: We visit the photo-shoot site that's become a monument to Elliott Smith

    • A.V. Undercover: ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead covers The Kinks' "Sunny Afternoon"

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved