The issue from two weeks ago included an engagement announcement for Ron Perez and Marcy Jayson. Mr. Perez informs us that he is not engaged to Ms. Jayson and that a court has in fact issued an order of protection against her. The Onion rescinds its congratulations.
The Onion apologizes for leaving the drawbridge down overnight.
Last Wednesday, The Onion used the word “jaunt” well over 10 times in the article “Suspect Jaunts Off With Stolen Cash.” The Onion regrets leaning ...
Last Tuesday’s edition of The Onion was actually the October 1990 issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids.