SAN MATEO, CA—Following an accidental keystroke combination Monday, local woman Kate Garret’s computer displayed a strange, never-before-seen typographical character that experts have since confirmed does not belong to the written language of any human culture, past or present. "I was holding down the Alt button and brushed something up near the Tab or Tilde key, and then this weird thing just popped up out of nowhere," said Garret, who described the symbol as looking something like a combination of Arabic script, a mathematical sign, and the letter "F." "I tried over and over again to replicate the keystrokes, but the character never reappeared. I immediately copied and pasted it into a separate document and hit save, worried no one would ever believe me otherwise." Archaeologists brought in to study the unusual marking said that while its bears no resemblance to the iconography of any known civilization anywhere on earth, it is, in all likelihood, "probably just another goddamn fertility symbol."
More News in Brief
Local Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp
DES MOINES, IA—With complaints about everything from “raggedy prayer mats” to “the grimiest ablution fountain ever,” local Muslims have slammed the al-Wali Mosque on ...
Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System
WEST HAVEN, CT—Following Microsoft’s official unveiling of their latest video game console Tuesday, 41-year-old father of two Richard Shearer excitedly told his son ...
2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite Horrific
WASHINGTON—Citing a succession of tragedies that have darkened the majority of 2013, including the Boston Marathon bombing, the Bangladeshi garment building collapse, and yesterday ...



30

