An exhaustive recap of every important event:

Jan 22: Hollywood mourns the loss of a sequel

Feb 24: Kid brother receives hand-me-down Cuban dictatorship

March 15: Jeff's birthday

April 15: Delta, Northwest Airlines merger forms the world's longest check-in line

May 30: An adorable robot searches for love in the summer blockbuster 'Sex And The City'

June 27: Robert Mugabe re-elected with massive grassroots violence campaign

July 12: 97lb Amy Winehouse is followed everywhere by sound of low, tolling bell

August 7th: Cheney is outraged over invasion of smaller country by Superpower

Sept 20: Louis Vuitton Bag attached to end of stick

Sept. 24: Mother Nature enters menopause

Oct 4: Bunch of rich jerks fuck everyone right in the ass

Oct 15: GOP spends $15 on Todd Palin's goatee

Oct 22: Thousands of astronauts cling to the side of India's first spacecraft launch

Nov 4: Lincoln memorial seems more relaxed following Obama victory

Nov 8: Russia decommissions 20 Navy officers 30,000 feet below sea level

Nov. 27th: World's Muslims complain Eid al-Adha decorations going up earlier every year