COLUMBIA, SC—The Whittaker family asked for privacy Saturday night as they struggled to come to terms with the awesome events of their ridiculously fun week. “Given the nature of what happened here, we would greatly appreciate it if you would respect our privacy during this bitchin’ time so as not to distract anyone from all of the cool shit happening to us," said a spokesperson for the family, wearing a tuxedo with an unfastened bow tie. “Therefore, we will not be making any further comments to the media for the foreseeable future. Woooo!” In lieu of flowers, the family respectfully asked that people send pizza and beer and keep it coming.