-
  • Self-Loathing Nation Sees Itself In Wes Welker, Hates What It Sees
  • Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff
  • Most Clippers Fans Still Have No Idea Team Is Doing Well
  • Novak Djokovic Signs Endorsement Deal With Serbia's Top Brand Of Luxury Goats
  • Nation's Telephone Conversation Fans Thrilled By Long-Awaited Mayweather-Pacquiao Phone Call
  • Controversial GoDaddy.com Super Bowl Commercial To Feature Scantily Clad Woman Performing Late-Term Abortion

Sports News in Brief

Fan Steals Derek Jeter From Yankee Stadium

September 25, 2008 | ISSUE 44•39

NEW YORK—Lifelong Yankees fan Martin Stenowitz, 52, became one of many who took home a piece of Yankee Stadium property Sunday night when he stole All-Star shortstop Derek Jeter off the field after the game. "I wanted my own little piece of Yankee Stadium history, so when I saw Derek Jeter just standing there, I thought, what the heck," said Stenowitz, who carefully folded the game-used Yankee shortstop into his backpack and exited the stadium before security personnel or New York City police could apprehend him. Stenowitz now proudly displays Jeter on the mantel of his New Rochelle, NY home, next to the program from the final game and Bernie Williams' head. The Yankee organization is demanding that Derek Jeter be immediately returned to the team in his original condition, as the Yankees were planning to sell him for $400.

The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.