Over the last few months, The Onion has received complaints about "fancy words" in the paper that our readership couldn't understand. We apologize and hereby pledge to remedy our lamentable sesquipedalian tendencies and revert to a narrow palette of monosyllabic, onomatopoeic signifiers.
The Onion apologizes for leaving the drawbridge down overnight.
Last Wednesday, The Onion used the word “jaunt” well over 10 times in the article “Suspect Jaunts Off With Stolen Cash.” The Onion regrets leaning ...
Last Tuesday’s edition of The Onion was actually the October 1990 issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids.