0WASHINGTON—Announcing that it would no longer allow Americans to fall behind, the Federal Communications Commission introduced a plan Monday to levy steep fines on anyone failing to keep up with the nation's TV shows. "Our economy lost more than $200 billion in productivity this year with people taking time out of their day to explain what happened last night on Mad Men," FCC chairman Julius Genachowski said. "Staying abreast of popular culture is the responsibility of every citizen. Unless we're talking about a show like Weeds, which, frankly, hasn't been that good since season two." The agency confirmed penalties would be reduced for citizens who agree to issue a minimum of three Facebook posts stating their intention to finally catch up on True Blood this weekend.
More News in Brief
Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds
WASHINGTON—A new report published Monday by the National Transportation Safety Board advises motorists that sending text messages while driving “is totally fine” and “not ...
3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over
WASHINGTON—According to sources, the long Memorial Day weekend in honor of Monday’s federal holiday is practically over already, with the hours left in ...
Biden Investigated For Questionable Workers’ Comp Claim
WASHINGTON—Weeks after accepting a workers’ compensation settlement for a personal injury he purportedly sustained on the job, Vice President Joe Biden is under investigation ...
