In last week's paper, The Onion accidentally omitted the final line of Gabe Blanchard's second-place entry in the 2009 Eighth-Grade Essay Contest. It should have read, "And with the smell of sulfur still hanging heavy in the air, we will toast the end of the Zionist conspiracy." The Onion regrets the error.
The Onion apologizes for leaving the drawbridge down overnight.
Last Wednesday, The Onion used the word “jaunt” well over 10 times in the article “Suspect Jaunts Off With Stolen Cash.” The Onion regrets leaning ...
Last Tuesday’s edition of The Onion was actually the October 1990 issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids.