American Voices

First Family In Crisis

September 2, 1998 | ISSUE 34•05

In the wake of the Lewinsky scandal, media focus has shifted to the First Family, with some speculating that Bill and Hillary will divorce upon leaving the White House. What do you think about the future of the Clintons?

  • Hillary must be deeply hurt and angered that her husband broke his sacred vow to keep his extramarital affairs from the press.

    Barry Todd
    Lawyer

  • As a Sudanese factory worker, I sincerely hope that Bill Clinton remains faithful to his wife during his remaining time in office.

    Biswot Salaam
    Factory Worker

  • I used to think Hillary was a bitch, but all that's changed now that I see her as a victim.

    Renee Walker
    Manicurist

  • I'm just glad Hillary hasn't stood by her man like some good little woman like Tammy Wynette.

    Gina Lyons
    Systems Analyst

  • That recent vacation on Martha's Vineyard was just what Hillary needed–a break from the pressure of constantly feigning surprise and indignation.

    Larry Klecko
    Opthamologist

  • One thing's for sure: It'll be years before Chelsea is willing to give a guy a blow job.

    Rick Leahy
    Carpenter

Recent American Voices
The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.