MADISON, WI—Through tearful breakdowns, heart-to-heart conversations, and alcohol-infused emotional confessions, Chadbourne Hall resident Yvonne Dawes has exposed every part of her inner self to all 54 members of her dorm floor within the first five days of college, sources reported.

"The first time I talked to her, she told me about the turning point in her relationship with her mother, her darkest secret, and her second darkest secret," said fellow student Rachel Cohen, who is one of the 26 females on the floor whom Dawes describes as being "like a sister" to her. "We all knew about her happiest moment and the difficulties of her adolescence before our classes even started."

Though her floormates think they've weathered the worst of it, Dawes is reported to have "big plans" for a massive weekend-long breakdown following a one-night stand in early October.