CROWLEY, LA—According to friends of Brian and Stacey Stockton, the couple's 30-year marriage is currently hanging by a thread, with only their profound love and mutual respect for one another keeping them together. "If they don't get a divorce soon, I'd be surprised, because at this point all they've really got to go on is their deep, abiding trust, strong sense of commitment, and willingness to compromise," neighbor Vince Cafferty told reporters Sunday, adding that the only thing preventing the couple from separating is the fact that they've acted as beacons of support and affection for each other from the moment they first met. "Marriages like that—built on empathy, a rock-solid belief system, and undying devotion—simply can't last. There's just nothing there." Cafferty added that he thinks the Stocktons are only staying together for their kids, who went away to college years ago, have recently gotten married, and now use their parents' relationship as a model for their own.
More News in Brief
BREAKING: Lovers Lost In Fog
‘Isabelle!’
SEDGECREST GRANGE—According to reports currently emanating from the sullen gloom of Sedgecrest Grange, two young lovers, mere moments after their impetuous peregrination into the ...
Report: 79% Of Sincere Thoughts Played Off As Jokes
NEW HAVEN, CT—According to a groundbreaking new report from researchers at Yale University’s Center for Cultural Sociology, a full 79 percent of all ...
Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office
COLUMBUS, OH—Based on his recent activity on Facebook, local man Arthur Gibson, 29, is reportedly under the impression that libertarian icon and former presidential ...



3
