American Voices

Gitmo Prisoner Names Released

April 27, 2006 | ISSUE 42•17

The U.S government released the first list of detainees at the Guantanamo Bay prison last week, the most extensive accounting yet of the hundreds of people being held there. What do you think?

  • With typical arrogance, the Pentagon didn't bother to inform the public who was sexiest.

    Blain Deutsch
    Meteorologist

  • How embarrassing for them. I remember when Gigi Greenwood released that list of all the sophomore girls who had made out with Greg Curtis. I thought my life was over.

    George Shear
    Auctioneer

  • At least now I know that my dear uncle Muhammed al-Qahtani is safe—kind of.

    Megan Ballard
    Radio Technican

Recent American Voices
  • Spanking Doesn't Work

    02.09.12 | ISSUE 48•06

    A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal analyzed two decades of research and found that children who were punished physically became more aggressive over time, while those who weren't became less aggressive.

  • Smoking Speeds Mental Decline

    02.08.12 | ISSUE 48•06

    A study published in Archives Of General Psychiatry found that middle-aged men who smoked had diminished cognitive skills, the equivalent of having aged an additional 10 years.

  • Migrating Whooping Cranes Stall In Alabama

    02.07.12 | ISSUE 48•06

    Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination.

  • Florida Millionaire Adopts 42-Year-Old Girlfriend

    02.06.12 | ISSUE 48•06

    A 48-year-old West Palm Beach millionaire and polo club founder has adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend in an apparent bid to avoid paying out a wrongful death lawsuit.

  • Should Sugar Be Regulated?

    02.03.12 | ISSUE 48•05

    In a recent editorial in the journal Nature, researchers from the University of California–San Francisco suggested that as a toxic substance, sugar should be taxed and regulated like alcohol or tobacco.

The Onion

[x] Click to close

© Copyright 2012, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.